Growing up

These last Month of my life have been the hardest month I’ve seen. I’ve experienced a loss so great that it’s changed my soul. Most days I’m okay and the other days I’ve realized it’s okay to not always be okay. Aside from experiencing the greatest loss I’ve known, it’s been a wake up call. I realize how short life is and that we aren’t entitled to anything. So I’ve promised myself to work on being the best version of myself. I’ve realized how important it is to build meaningful relationships. Ive realized the importance of doing everything with love, so you’ll never wish you had done it any different. I’m learning to be a “kind person” (lol) and say kind words.( that’s the tough part) . I always liked to use the excuse I’m Latina so that’s just how I am, but I am making a better effort to make sure I don’t take my family or friends for granted. Life is short and I just want to make sure I make every moment, word and experience count. I’m a work in progress but that’s part of the process.

Moving on

part of moving on is learning to accept the ugly truth. While most people cling to the good memories, that provide hope, it’s time we be realistic. When your heart is overcome with an emptyness it’s time to re evaluate things. The good should always out weight the bad and when it doesn’t, it’s time you think about things. Part of loving someone is loving the good, the bad and the ugly. However, when your significant other picks and chooses when to love you, know it’s time to walk away. Giving up isn’t the same as letting go. Be smart enough to know when your wasting valuable time and effort on someone who doesn’t appreciate either. You should never have to fight for a spot in someone’s life or compete with other people. I’ve learned the ugly truth. The ugly truth about loving someone I was never going to be number one to. The ugly truth about realizing after investing over a year to overcome my own fears and theirs I still didn’t measure up, they still found any reason and excuse to not commit. Sometimes you let people destroy who you are, and I guess it’s going to be okay it gives you the chance to build yourself as you should be. They say life is all about the lessons you learn along the way and the people who taught you them……

To the one who let me go, Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance to see things how they truly are and how green the grass is on the other side. Initially when you part ways with anyone who’s been a significant person in your life over an extended period of time, you feel lost and betrayed. And that’s okay, it’s okay to not always be okay. I think for anyone one of the worst feelings is to know the person you loved never felt the same. I know personally,  I was searching for answers. because like everything in my life I want things explained in great detail. However some things are better left unsaid. Some things don’t require an answer or response. The best thing that ever happened to me was for me to realize where I was at this stage in my life. You lose so many people along the way in life, way more than you’ll ever find. Some people are meant to be lost, some people come into your life just to teach a lesson before they go on their own journey. So observe, take something away from each person you encounter. I found that period of my life to be the time where I really grew into myself. nothing will change your soul like someone tearing apart your soul and inner peace. I found this as a time to rebuild, things the way I wanted them. A learning experience of my life to make sure I never become that person I once was, to figure out exactly who I was and exactly what I was looking for in someone else.